Some thoughts on eternal marriage.... & my awesome husband.

I had the wonderful opportunity to fly back home to California to be apart of one of my very best friend's wedding. What an amazing experience it is to see two people enter the temple and commit themselves to each other and God. I am so happy for them and the wonderful journey they are starting together.

Collin unfortunately was unable to attend as he is away for some annual military training back in Boise but it reminded me of course the day we got married and how wonderful it was! I realize that as I blog I always share the cute, happy and fun stories that unfold in our lives and realize that my blog portrays an almost too perfect life which I think is like most blogs I read. I don't really like complaining or sharing certain things on this blog, I'll admit I'm a kinda private person and really do try to remain super optimistic and look to the good things that happen each day. I definitely want to highlight the good, not the bad that does occur but let's face it, we have a real life and real life brings bad days at times.

We've been married for over 4 years now and I can attest that we've had our share of bad days but oh how the good days make it worth it! We believe that trials in life are necessary to build our faith that God loves us and has a plan for us. It also can tear you apart or bring you together as a couple. Like I mentioned before, Collin is away for his annual military training that lasts for about 3 weeks. We do get to talk every day but our conversations last for maybe 10-15 minutes before he has to go. The other day he sent me a very touching text about how much he loved me and how he promises to always work on our marriage no matter how good or bad things are. I inquired about the sweet message and he told me about some of the guys that are out there with him (about 200) he relayed a conversation he heard from a fellow soldier with his wife over the phone. They were obviously struggling and had a "heated" conversation over the phone. Long story short at the end of the conversation, the soldier explained how unhappy he was and wanted a divorce as soon as he got home. Collin shared other stories about guys who are cheating on their wives and wives that are cheating on them. Very sad. I understand why Collin doesn't look forward to these trainings much, not only physically exhausting but very disheartening at times.

I reminded him of our dating days and how he tried so hard to get a commitment from me when I was a little apprehensive about getting married in general. I remember some of the things he said about how marriage isn't about making the one person happy but about two people making each other happy, constantly working as a team. Wise man he is!

One thing that works for us is dating, setting time apart for each other and surprises, big and small! I love constantly looking for cute little things to do for him and I know he enjoys surprising me. I made it clear when we were engaged that there will be time set aside for each other during school, work and busy schedules. I made this little gift for him to take with him to training last week:

I was happy to hear that other guys commented on the pill dispenser who are out in the field with Collin. I got a pill dispenser and put in a small note with some candy for each day he's out there. While we were on the phone one night Collin pulled out the dispenser to collect his daily note and candy. Here's the conversation that took place between Collin and some other guys I could hear in the background.

"Whoa dude, are those all your meds you have to take every day?" (the candy that was in were white mentos)
Collin: "No, its candy...  just something my wife gave me before I left"
"She put candy in it for every day?" (Candy is a hot commodity out there)
"Yea"
"Hm, well that's just because you're newlyweds"
"Uh, well we've been married over 4 years, I don't really consider us newlyweds"
"Wo, 4 years? Thats cool I guess.  Does she want to give my wife some tips?"

SCORE!  I'm not saying this to brag (ok, maybe a little bit) but mostly because I truly believe that small things go a long way in a marriage and the importance of serving one another every day. Its not a perfect system, we both do fall short but learning to forgive and serve one another helps us keep that "newlywed" feeling alive in our marriage. Gorden B Hinkley said this of marriage “I am satisfied that happiness in marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one’s companion. Any man who will make his wife’s comfort his first concern will stay in love with her throughout their lives and through the eternity yet to come”. I believe that also applies to the wife as well, making her husband's comfort her first concern. I know when we make our spouses comfort our first concern it will yield great blessings and happier marriages!